Some of Michael's Writings

I was asked to write a paper about me and thought I would share it here. 

My name is Michael Jeffrey Singer. I was asked to write a little about who I am, which is quite a question, isn’t it?

My Hebrew name is Meir Yehuda, which means “One Who Brings Light”.  I am the son of Frank and Miriam, the brother of Neil, Leslie, Susan, and David, and ex-husband of Toni and Sabine.  But I’m most proud and honored of being a father to Gabriella and Joseph.  And really, this is just one way of describing myself. I am also a child of God who struggles daily with this physical body. I am a spiritual being, like everybody else, longing to be loved, held, heard, and seen.  I have struggled with abuse, depression, migraines, and even drug use.  I used to think I was too broken to be loved.  I had reached a point in my life when I knew there had to be so much more than just suffering.  So, I went looking for answers, guided by questions we all face at one time or another: “what is my purpose for being on Earth? Why such sadness and pain? Why am I really here?”

These questions forced me to face and examine this train wreck called “Michael”.  I discovered that I wanted so much more than to live day-to-day, pay bills, content with constant pain, and chase the occasional moment of happiness. A deep longing to find out if I was more than the sum of my struggle and pain began to surface.

On this journey of finding out who the hell I was, I learned that I was not a complete train wreck, nor broken.  I saw just how abusive I was being to myself.  I believed without question whatever I was told long ago, so much so that I continued telling myself these very same destructive things even as an adult.  In healing myself, I was able to begin seeing clearly when other people were unconsciously abusing themselves, and I could appreciate their pain and struggles because I’ve been there.
 My healing journey showed me that I have this big, beautiful, compassionate heart and that I want to make a difference in the world.  I discovered a longing to assist people on their journey of finding out the truth of who they are.  Through my years of education and training, I learned that I could not hold other people’s pain and sadness if I didn’t learn to be with my own first. I learned that I am not here to really fix anyone; each of us has our own unique journey. I believe we are all wounded, and that life is an opportunity for soul retrieval, a chance to embody the truth of who we are and not what we were told or coerced into believing. We are all beautiful light beings.

I deeply relate to Chiron, the archetype of the Wounded Healer. I believe we choose to incarnate into the world, which is choosing to go into pain so as to learn our life lessons. 

My business is called Santa Barbara Healer, but I am not the healer.  You are. You are the only one who can do the true healing for yourself.  I am an intuitive and I can see what stops you from your deepest longings.  I am able to assist you in letting go of your pain.  With my gifts, my heart, my soul, and your commitment to change, miracles will happen.  This is not work, nor do I treat this as a job.  This is my calling, my passion, and my life’s work.  We cannot do this healing business on our own. As much as I tried for years to fix myself, I found I also needed love and support from other people.

I have learned to hold people with loving tenderness and compassion and without any judgment or criticism.  Being human, we can be unaware of the abuse we heap on ourselves.  Often, we don’t know how to be compassionate with ourselves and we beat ourselves up instead of healing ourselves. I hold a space of unconditional love, so that my clients may tap into their own unconditional love within.  They find the truth of who they really are, and that they are not their trauma, pain, cancer, drugs, or abuse.

You are not what happened to you, you are so much more than that! We each have suffered losses, and everyone faces struggles in their life.  It is the inevitable part of being human.  In over twenty years of working with people, I have found that we are stronger, smarter, and more beautiful than we ever give ourselves credit for.

In my sessions, I get to reflect back to my clients their own magnificence, their heart and soul, and their light, so that they can share their gifts with everybody else. I believe we can change the world, one person, at a time. If I can assist you with encouraging your light to shine a little brighter, your light will help others shine brighter too.

Together we can let go of some of the darkness, pain, and sadness that is in the world these days.  The world needs your light.
 I have never met anyone who is not struggling with something, but that struggle is your healing journey back to wholeness, back to joy, and back to your true home.

Life is too short to waste any amount of time wondering what other people think about you. What's important to me is not others’ opinions of me, but my opinion of myself. Some days I like myself more than other days, and some days I don't like myself much at all, but I don't waste any time or energy thinking about how other people feel about me. Some people will like me, others will not, but I don't give them the power to influence how I feel about myself. I do enough of that on my own without help from anyone else.

If someone you know is having a hard time and has been struggling, I think it is not helpful to say things like, “You have so much to be grateful for” or “ just put on a smile and it will be fine.” I find the thing they need most is for someone to slow down with compassion and just open your heart to them. Just be with them where they are at, not where you want them to be. Let them be seen and loved and held and do not try and fix them. The biggest gift you can give them is your time and an open heart. Don’t try and change them, just listen and be with them. Sometimes’s means just sitting there and saying nothing. Let your heart speak to theirs.

I woke up today thinking about the word Struggle and decided to look up the meaning and here is what I found, 1: To make strenuous or violent efforts in the face of difficulties or opposition struggling with the problem 2: To proceed with difficulty or with great effort, to make forceful or violent efforts to get free of restraint or constriction.

Just by being human, we all struggle with things in our life. Anywhere from physical, to mental, sexual, and emotionally. Just to be human means we struggle. It’s not bad, wrong, it is just painful and part of being human.

Is it fun? Hell no sometimes it just downright sucks and we try and do any and everything in our power not to, but the truth this is how we learn and grow. Yes we would all love our lives to be easy and effortless and we all spend as much time as possible avoiding Struggling, but on some levels, it will always be there. Sometimes the volume is louder than others.

The power comes in fighting it, or surrendering or learning to trust that for some reason God has placed this Struggle in our path to learn and grow and hopefully be a better or happier person and maybe even closer to God.

If your struggling, maybe your lesson is not to try and do it all on your own. Maybe your lesson is that you are not weak to ask for help, you are just a human who has needs and wants. Please reach out when you are Struggling and ask for help, or a hand, or a hug. We all need these to keep going….

I had someone ask me the other day how I was doing and instead of the " I am fine and you" answer I stopped to think about the question for a while. What I came up with is on many levels I am so grateful for all I have; my work is not my work because it is my passion; I have 2 children who I love and adore more than life itself. But day-to-day with whatever life offers me, I struggle. My children struggle with being teenagers, and there is nothing I can do but hold and love them with all my heart and soul, and it is still painful to watch and know this is their journey and this is how they learn. I struggle with my pain and sadness and yet I am so connected to God and spirit and there is so much gratitude that the easiest answer with how am I doing is that I feel blessed for all I have and all I receive and calling to good or bad is just the human part of who I am.

I’m here, I care. This is not just what I do for a living, it is who I am. All I ever wanted was to reach out and touch another human being not just with my hands but with my heart and soul. I have gifts I want to share. I do not judge, I don’t care if you are battling with depression, drugs, alcohol, loneliness or just tired of struggling and going in circles and keep thinking it will never get better. I don’t care if you need to cry or scream or just be held and listened too, I will stay with you. We all need someone to be there to see us, to hold us and to care in our lives every now and then. It does not make you weak for asking, it just means you need someone to help carry the load and you are strong enough to ask.

There’s nothing you have ever done or said to to yourself that I have not said or done to myself. I have been my own best (and worst) client. I am stronger than the depression and I am braver than loneliness and the addictions you might have and I can help you hold it so the load is not so heavy and you know you are not alone on this journey.
Please, if you are in pain, reach out. If not to me, someone. There are people out there who care but the first step is yours in asking for help.

One of the main reasons that we lose our enthusiasm in life is because we become ungrateful . . . we let what was once a miracle become common to us. We get so accustomed to his goodness it becomes a routine. It is a proven fact if you start the day, while you're still in bed, with 3 to 5 things you are grateful for, your whole day will shift. Try it for 30 days. What do you have to lose?

I have been working on myself for 20 years trying to learn and discover who this person called Michael Singer is. I am not better, happier, or even prettier than anyone else. I just have done enough schooling, seminars, counseling sessions, and work to learn about this human being I call me. I have struggled with depression, anxiety, and migraines and enough pain and loss for a lifetime. I am human who is trying to do the best he can. I have not always made the best decisions in my life, but I have come to see I have always done my best and my best is good enough, even if down the road I thought I was the biggest idiot in the world. I have learned that I am a compassionate, caring, loving person who wants to make a difference. I have discovered my gifts and want to share them so people can learn about your gifts and make your life happier or more fulfilled.

Everyone is struggling in some ways in their lives. It is part of the condition we call being human. As much as we think we are broken or different or there is something wrong with us, or that we are not lovable, that is not the truth. We are all children of God and are all born with a light and a beauty and a gift that is our own. Yes, life is painful sometimes, but you cannot see the light without going into the darkness first. We are all wounded and doing the best we can. I witness the lack of compassion we hold for ourselves everyday in my healing practice. We can be so nice to strangers and other people, yet we constantly beat ourselves on not being enough.

I believe when you work on discovering who you really are, not what you were told or believe, that you find your light and your gifts. On some level, life is a soul retrieval. We are here to learn, grow, and find our heart and soul. Along the way, we struggle, we cry, and we have to deal with pain, but from these adversities, we learn to laugh, love, and find our light to share with others. One small match can and will light up a very large dark room. We all carry that light inside of us: we are the light. We just have to do some work every now and then to find it and bring it out so it can shine.

I found out I do make a difference in the word and want you to know you do too.